Interracial dating has been a controversial concept since the beginning of time.
The widely known debate has been whether or not mixes with other races is morally right or not.
Of course, we know that this all stems from racism, so I don’t believe there should be a question of whether it’s morally right.
No one should be discriminated against because of their skin color (#RIPGeorgeFloyd, #RIPBreonnaTaylor, #RIPAhmaudArbery) and no couple should be told their love holds no value because they’re different races.
The question lies in whether or not there is a double standard between genders in interracial dating.
There is.
If you think otherwise, then please take a trip down a twitter timeline or The Shade Room comments.
You will be humbled severely.
Here’s my take on the double standard in interracial dating.
I feel like, from the Black female perspective, Black women dating outside our race is more accepted than Black men dating outside our race.
Now, before y’all roast me, hear me out!
I always hear my sisters say, “I don’t have a problem with Black men dating outside our race, just as long as they don’t talk down on us Black women.”
Now, I agree with this statement 1000%!
The thing is a lot of Black Queens who say this don’t really mean it.
How many times have you heard someone say this, and then as soon as they see a Black man with a nonblack woman, they immediately begin throwing shade and talking crap??
I’ve seen it a lot!
And when I see it my first thought is always, “When did you see or hear him talk down on Black women, sis?!”
I think it’s unfair that a Black man’s Blackness is “revoked” just for dating outside the race.
I think that a lot of Black women say the statement above because it’s the socially acceptable thing to say, when they know they really don’t mean it.
Just say you don’t like Black men dating nonblack women and go, sis!
Do I think that’s right?
No, but you have your own right to your own opinion, just be honest with yourself.
We won’t be able to have genuine open dialogue on the matter until everyone stands in their truth.
Let me make one thing clear, though!
A lot of y’all Black men do sleep on us Melanin Goddesses, and it’s very obvious in your songs, your underhanded comments or even your straightforward comments, if you’re bold enough.
You deserve to be roasted off the face of the earth if that’s your prerogative.
I ain’t taking up for y’all foolishness.
I’m taking up for those men that respect all women, they just happen to end up with someone who comes from a different ethnic background.
We can’t be hypocritical, y’all.
So, now that we’ve got that established, let’s talk about the responsibilities you have if you are in an interracial relationship.
If you are the Black partner in your relationship, you have an obligation to hold your partner accountable in terms of educating themselves about our history and our culture.
Don’t let them get away with stuff you wouldn’t let a white person on social media get away with, just because y’all knocking boots, they are NOT exempt!
And honestly, if they do stuff like that, do they really respect you?!
But we’ll save that for another post….
On the flip side, if you are a nonblack individual dating a Black individual, you have an obligation to not only educate yourself on, but to embrace Black culture.
What does that look like?
Hmmm, maybe it looks like you speaking up and supporting the #BlackLivesMatter movement.
It looks like you using your privilege to stand up for those being discriminated against.
And I’m not just talking about your partner, when you date one of us, you are an extension of all of us.
Especially if you and your partner bring children into the mix.
In that case, you are a literal, blood-bound extension of us.
Because your kids will be deemed Black in this society.
You can’t join in on our original aesthetics while denouncing or ignoring our struggles.
If you’re going to be with one of us, be for ALL of us!
And that’s just that on that.
Let me know what you think of today’s post in the comments below and on our social media pages!
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