We’re serving a nice big slice of humble pie today, sis, so prepare yourself.
There comes a time where you have to remove yourself from around people whose aura clashes with your energy.
And there comes a time where you just have to suck it up, and deal with them in order to achieve a goal bigger than the both of you.
It would be so amazing if we never had to encounter those who we dislike, but that’s just not realistic.
Especially for those of us who are on a path to greatness, it’s almost like an unofficial requirement that we must interact with least favorable persons at least once on our journey.
Naturally, this is a hard pill to swallow, especially since you’ve probably been reading books, watching TED Talks, and listening to podcasts about “protecting your energy and staying away from problematic people.”
You know, you’re all deep and philosophical now, so you’re just operating on peaceful wavelengths.
And that’s so great and so needed in this world, but so is the bottom line.
The bottom line is not deep and philosophical, it’s concrete and emotionless more often than not.
So, having to step outside of your peaceful bubble to deal with people who disturb that is very frustrating, but you have to detach your emotions from getting the job done.
This is what it all boils down to.
Not taking everything personally in work environment.
And work environment can mean multiple things; an office, a volunteer project, an organization event, a class group project, etc.
Any environment where you have to work with others towards a common goal.
I think a big misconception that a lot of people have with this is that they are not supposed to be in whichever said environment if the external energies don’t mesh with their, and that’s not necessarily the case.
PLEASE NOTE: If the environment is taking a severe toll on your mental, emotional, and/or physical health, then you should certainly remove yourself. However, today’s topic is not this scenario.
Our journeys are full of tests and this is just one of them.
What better way to showcase your growth then maintaining a stable front in the midst of toxicity??
That speaks volumes about not only your professionalism, but your character as well.
On the flip side, we also need to address the idea that it may not always be the other person whose energy is off.
It could be yours.
This is where you really need to dive deep and source your reasoning for disliking someone who you have to work with.
Because a lot of times it’s just, “There’s just something about their vibe that turns me off.”
Now, sis.
Discernment is a real thing, don’t get me wrong, but that is not a good enough reason to count someone out.
That “off-putting vibe” could just be a mere culture difference or personality trait that you don’t possess.
WE HAVE GOT TO STOP SHUTTING PEOPLE OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE DIFFERENT THAN WE ARE!
Now y’all got all these awkward moments that weren’t even necessary.
If you can’t source it, don’t exploit it.
But if you can, put your big girl panties on, and suck it up!
There’s this little thing called adulting, you should try it.
How to do this, you may ask??
Talk to them.
I can almost hear all the eyes rolling now.
You gotta do it, though.
Confrontation has become such a taboo thing that people avoid it like the Corona virus, but its intent is actually very progressive.
If done right, it provides clarity and substantial solutions.
So, just ask to speak to them in private.
Since this is a more hostile scenario where their mannerisms are visibly off-putting, then 9/10 they are already aware, and don’t have any immediate plans of changing that.
There are sometimes where they may be completely clueless to how they’re coming off until you bring it to their attention, but that’s more aligned with the first example where it’s mere cultural differences.
So, you’re confronting someone who is most likely aware that your energies don’t mesh well.
The first thing you need to accept prior to speaking to them is that they’re probably not going to receive what you say in the manner that you want them to receive it.
Why would they, if they could do that you wouldn’t have to have this conversation in the first place!
Instead, just go into the discussion with the intent to find common ground.
“I understand that we don’t operate on the same frequencies, however, we both are a part of a group with one common goal, so we need to figure out how to cohabitate in the most progressive way to accomplish that goal.”
Now, y’all don’t have to use all those fancy words, but it wouldn’t hurt, especially in a professional environment.
Just figure out how to get through the allotted time without pulling each other’s heads off.
Unfortunately, some people may not even be willing to be cordial.
This can easily become that of the severe scenario I mentioned earlier, and in that case, I would seek external assistance.
Some people want to run you out of certain environments, so they’ll intentionally make things difficult.
Go to a supervisor, professor, volunteer leader, and if you’re the have no superior, God also works great 100% of the time.
It will be tough, but everything will fall into place.
Before closing out today’s post, I want to address one final thing on the matter.
For those on the outside looking in on these situations, they don’t need to hear, “If it was me, I would’ve done x, y, z…”
It’s one thing if they come to you for advice, but offering your unwarranted opinion on a situation you’ve never had to deal with (peep the “if”) does nothing for them, especially because you probably wouldn’t even do what you said you’d do.
These people who you’re talking at aren’t trying to turn up and get out of character, they have brands to build and images to protect, they have to conduct themselves as such.
So, watch freely, but keep your unrealistic views to yourself, boo.
I hope you guys took away something substantial from this post, let me know what you think in the comments below and on our social media pages.
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