Can I Ask a Question?

Let the church say amen, sis!

Any of my real kinfolk out there recognize church as a staple in the Black community.

Shoot, most of us were heavily involved in this staple, whether it was voluntary or not (Thanks, Ma).

And of course, there were the different denominations; Baptist, Methodist, AME, and Pentecostal being a few examples with predominately African American populations.

I, myself, was born and raised in the COGIC Pentecostal church, and man was it an experience.

I was the cliché church kid, always giving the best Sunday School reviews, in all the holiday plays, praise dancer, singing on the youth choirs (local, district, AND state chile) because all youth had to be on the choir if you weren’t ushering or playing an instrument, active in YPWW (only real OG’s recognize), President of the Teen’s Christian Council, you name it. If it was something to do with the youth, I was somewhere nearby.

It certainly didn’t help matters that my dad was the church Youth President, my mom was the Youth VP, and both of them directed the youth choir, along with all the numerous other hats they wore.

So, yea.

If anyone knows church, I know church, Honey.

And boy, did we have a lot of good times.

Learning all the shouts of the saints, the long-winded preachers, the Easter egg hunts, getting to go first in line to get to-go plates when visiting other churches, going to AIM’s every June, having Children’s Day every July, seeing my best friends every week, there are a lot of memories that I will cherish forever.

But eventually, the shouting wasn’t funny anymore, AIM’s became dreadful, and most of the preachers became unbearable.

It’s so amazing how your perspective changes as you grow older.

You begin to see the people behind the suits, comprehend all the underlying messages and expectations, and questions begin to form.

But you can’t ask them.

Because it’s disrespectful to question God’s unwavering words.

They may say they want you to ask questions, but if it combats with tradition or something they themselves don’t know the answer to, you quickly realize that’s not the case.

How can I look at my school friend’s homosexual relationship and call it an abomination when I know choir directors in the same position?

How am I supposed to look forward to becoming some minister’s wife, a woman of the clothe, when I see multiple ministers covering up children resulting from affairs?

Just for them to get a slap on the wrist and be back in the pulpit a short while later.

And how am I supposed to be prepared to sit behind them on that same pulpit for the rest of my days with a smile on my face because divorce isn’t an option.

Why do all the women have to change into a skirt every Tuesday and Thursday, even if they’re coming from work or school?

Why does it feel like a lot of these “standards” for God’s people are just based on the personal preferences of those who lead?

Why do I always have to go out of my way to greet older saints who pay me dust?

Why do people feel like they have the right to force me to the alter?

And WHY can’t I ask these questions without being reprimanded in some way?

I love God, but “Because the bible says so” and “Just pray about it” cannot be the sole answers to all these questions.

I once heard someone say that statistics show that young people will leave the church anyway, so there wasn’t much they could do about drawing them in.

The real statistic is that tradition and hypocrisy push the young people to leave the church, but many saints are too stuck in their ways to fix that narrative.

How are millennials disrespectful for being inquisitive?

Is it so bad that we want to know why we’re missing out on games, and movies, and sleepovers, and dances?

This constant whiplash really taints a person’s mindset, it’s no wonder people don’t want to even step foot on church grounds.

I understand that not every question we have will be answered, but most of the ones listed above can.

Saints just don’t want to answer them.

So many thoughts, so many questions…

I’ve recently uncovered a lot of answers in the last year and a half, or so.

And we’re going to spend this series talking about them.

I’m so excited to be back, guys!

Let’s get it.